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This is a verse that I held on for as long as I remember. Thanks to Daddy Boy for implanting this verse on me.

During those times when it seemed like the world was falling down around me. “All things work together…”

When I was hurting (either physically or emotionally) so bad, that it seemed like a victory just to put one foot in front of the other. “All things work together…”

When the month lasted longer than the money “All things work together…”

In the moments of my life when things were the darkest, my emotions were swirling and my head was spinning, it was and is ONLY by faith that I could say through my tears..

“All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

And as time passed, I can look back at those same experiences and see the hand of God protecting, guiding and turning that which Satan meant for evil for His glory and my good.

Today I am thankful for:

The transforming power of His Love
That one day all pain and suffering will be gone
The gift of forgiveness as I am slowly recovering from the hatred I have on a family member

To God Be the Glory
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On the radio today, this guy called in and had a problem he wanted advice on. Seems he’s been dating his girlfriend for three years, and one year for Christmas they spent it with her family, and one year they spent it with his family. She told him a few weeks ago that she had made plans to spend Christmas with her family, and he could go ahead and make his own plans. Then, more recently, she said that, because of the economy, she thinks they should not buy each other gifts this year. They both have jobs, and have enough money that they can afford a little something, at the very least. He thinks she’s going to break up with him after the holidays, and he’s wondering if he should preemptively break up with her before then.

This blog post is NOT about this guy’s issues. Yes, she probably does want to break up with him, she’s doing it in a crappy way, but preemptively breaking up with her, just so you don’t get broken up with, is stupid. Sit down with her, talk about it.

HERE is what this post is about. The radio jockey asked if maybe she told him not to buy a gift because she’s worried he’s going to give her an engagement ring, and maybe she’s not ready for that and this is her way of telling him. When asked, “Do you think she might think you’re going to propose, have you guys talked about that?” he answered with a very emphatic “NO. NOOOO. No I’m not ready for that.”

One guy ended up calling in and saying, essentially, “Hey, dumbass, yes she’s breaking up with you, because it’s been three years and you haven’t even talked about getting married. If you haven’t proposed after three years, you deserve to be dumped.”

I’m always fascinated with the timing of a marriage proposal. Some people only date for six months. Some date for ten years. Who’s to say what the right timing is? No one, I think. Although, I will say that personally, I could never see myself accepting a proposal after six months, and I could never see myself waiting for ten years. But I think by three years, it should be discussed.

I had friends a long time ago who had been dating (and living together) for (I think) five years. She wanted to get married. He “wasn’t ready.” She kept saying she was going to give him until X date and then she was through. At the time (at the tender age of 22) I asked her how, if she loved him, she could just cut and run, simply because he wasn’t ready to propose. She looked at me and said, “Just wait until you’re older, you’ll understand.”

And I do kind of get it. I go back and forth on the whole thing. If I was with a guy for five years, would I give him an ultimatum? I mean, if he isn’t ready in five years, when will he be ready? But if I love him, shouldn’t I want to be with him, regardless?

Then there are the couples who never get married. What is marriage, but a piece of paper and a ring? Again, I go back and forth on this one, too. Because I agree with that argument – if I love you and you love me, why do we need to stand in front of a preacher and sign a piece of paper? Does that make us love each other more? But, alternately, if it’s never legal, it’s a lot easier to get out with no obligation. I think making it legal makes it harder to split up – you actually have to work through things, instead of just throwing in the towel.

I’ve been in a few relationships where the guy and I were crazy about each other and the possibility of marriage was openly discussed. For various reasons, however, they didn’t ultimately work out. (I decided to go on a mission, for example, another love-of-my-life decided he wanted a certain lifestyle that in the end could never jive with mine—talk about long, drawn-out break up.)

So yeah. I know what it means to be in love. I know what it means to be head-over-heels. 

Sometimes I forget and need to remind myself. But I do know.

And I have yet to meet someone I feel that way about where the circumstances are also right. Basically, I haven’t met the right person at the right time.

A lot of us have been taught some variation of: focus on being the right person and you will find the right person. Or, become the kind of person you want to marry, etc., etc.

While I do think there is some usefulness to that advice, I think it’s very limited. It might well serve the selfish person who hopes to find a loving spouse. It might be of use to the loser who plays video games or gossips all day who hopes to find a spouse with depth.

But for a lot of us, while we’re certainly far from perfect, this advice is not only useless but perhaps even detrimental.

We are the ones who have been in meaningful long-term relationships (romantic or otherwise) and know what it means to care, to love, to sacrifice. No, we’re not perfect at it, but we know how to and are willing to put forth the effort to make a relationship work.

We are the ones who have lives and interests of our own and are ready to share them with someone else. We’re healthy enough to not be needy, but still realize that there are times when it’s good to need.

We are the ones who realize that looks aren’t everything, but definitely work to maximize what we’ve been given.

We are the ones who are already right for someone. While there may always be room for the improvement of certain traits, we do not need to change who we are in essentials.

We have a lot to give. And when we meet the right person, we’ll be ready to give it.

written ages ago

It’s ridiculously late right now which means I probably should just go to bed instead of blogging.

But I ended a wonderful day with a good guy friend of mine sitting in the car having one of those awkward car talks. You know, you’ve all had an awkward car talk. The kind that lasts till the wee hours of the morning.

Dear friend. Why, why, why do you have to try to change things? We have been good friends for 2 years and NOW you want to date me. Oh wait, you’ve always liked me? WHAT????

A lot of people say that guys cannot be just friends with an attractive girl without having an ulterior motive. Every now and then I think I have a friendship that proves that idea wrong.

And then I realize: Nope, I’m wrong. I give up!

This is so heart-wrenching. I don’t want to lose my friend.